Travelling with your children as a single parent can feel overwhelming. The thought of packing up, planning an adventure, and heading out of town when you’re the only adult responsible for everything can be intimidating.
You’re responsible for every detail, every decision, and often every dollar. You’re the travel agent, the organizer, the problem-solver, the navigator, and the person making sure everyone is safe, happy, and having fun.
For many of my clients navigating separation or divorce, the thought of managing all of this on their own can feel like too much. And I completely understand.
Because I’ve been there.
As a single mom, when my children were younger, I made a conscious effort to create opportunities for us to get away from our everyday routines and spend meaningful time together. I wanted to show them different places, introduce them to new experiences, and, most importantly, have uninterrupted time together.
Sometimes that meant simply packing up the car and heading somewhere within driving distance. We visited Niagara Falls, spent time in Muskoka, and explored different parts of Ontario. Other times, when circumstances allowed, we travelled farther.
For one of my daughter’s birthdays, I took her on a road trip to Pittsburgh to see a concert. It wasn’t an extravagant vacation, but it was something she really wanted to do, and sharing that experience with her made it incredibly special. The concert was the reason for the trip, but the time we spent together along the way was just as meaningful.
Looking back, I realize that it was never really about the destination or how much money we spent. It was about finding opportunities to have fun together, experience something different, and create memories that belonged to us.
I also recognize that travelling isn’t financially possible for everyone, particularly for parents navigating the financial realities of separation and divorce. I never want the message to be that creating meaningful memories requires booking a flight, staying at a resort, or spending money you don’t have.
Some of our most meaningful experiences with our children can happen right in our own communities, with little or no expense at all.
What matters isn’t how far we go or how much we spend. It’s the time we make for one another.
Was planning these experiences always easy? Absolutely not.
Were there moments when I wondered whether I had taken on too much? Of course.
But when I look back at the photographs of those adventures today, I don’t remember the stress of organizing them. I remember the laughter, the conversations, the unexpected moments, and the joy of simply being together.
Those experiences have become some of my most treasured memories of raising my children.
As Our Children Grow, So Does the Way We Connect
Something I’ve come to appreciate as my children have grown into young adults is that the opportunities we have to spend meaningful time together begin to change.
When our children are little, we’re involved in almost every aspect of their lives. We have bedtime conversations, family dinners, school drop-offs, weekend activities, and countless little moments of connection throughout the day.
Then, seemingly overnight, things begin to shift.
They develop their own interests, friendships, schedules, and priorities. They leave for school, become increasingly independent, and begin building lives that don’t always revolve around us.
And that’s exactly what we want for them.
I’m incredibly proud of the independent young adults my children are becoming. Watching them develop their own identities, make decisions, and find their place in the world is one of the greatest rewards of parenting.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes miss those bedtime conversations or the days when spending time together was simply part of our everyday routine.
My son, for example, is now away at school and beginning to build his own life. He doesn’t always have time for his mom in the way he once did.
And that’s okay. It’s the natural progression of life, and I’m incredibly grateful to watch him grow into an independent young man.
But it has also made me realize something important.
As our children get older, we need to become more intentional about creating opportunities to connect.
Sometimes that might mean planning a trip. Other times, it might be going for dinner, attending a concert, taking a drive, or simply finding an activity you both enjoy.
The important part is making room for one another as our relationships evolve.
A Girls’ Trip to Mexico: Learning to Slow Down Together
Last year, I had the opportunity to take my daughter on a girls’ trip to Mexico.
Unlike some of our earlier family vacations, this trip wasn’t about filling every day with excursions or sightseeing. It was about slowing down.
My daughter wanted to relax on the beach, go to the gym, enjoy the sunshine, and take a break from the demands of everyday life.
So that’s exactly what we did.
What I hadn’t anticipated was how much I needed that experience too.
For seven entire days and nights, we had the opportunity to simply be together. Without the usual distractions, responsibilities, and competing schedules, we were able to reconnect in a way that everyday life doesn’t always allow.
We talked, laughed, relaxed, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.
Perhaps the most meaningful part of that time together was that I got to see my daughter in a different light.
Not just as my little girl, but as the remarkable young woman she is becoming.
I learned more about her interests, her perspectives, and the things that matter to her. We shared conversations and experiences that I will always cherish.
And while Mexico provided a beautiful setting, I realized that the most valuable part of our time together had nothing to do with where we were.
It was the opportunity to slow down, be present, and reconnect.
Sometimes we become so caught up in the responsibilities of parenting that we forget to simply enjoy our children for the people they are becoming.
That experience reminded me how important it is to make space for those moments, wherever they happen.
Iceland with My Son: Learning to Let Him Take the Lead
More recently, I decided to do something a little more adventurous.
I had the opportunity to take my son on a five-day trip to Iceland.
This was definitely outside my comfort zone.
Unlike a relaxing beach vacation, Iceland involved considerably more planning, driving, unpredictable weather, and a willingness to embrace the unexpected.
But I wanted to create an experience that reflected my son’s interests and gave us an opportunity to spend meaningful time together.
Before leaving, I asked him to choose the two things he most wanted to do in Iceland. From there, I began building an itinerary around his requests.
I took care of most of the advance planning, including accommodations, activities, and figuring out how we would navigate the country.
Once we arrived, however, something wonderful happened.
My son became my travel partner.
As we drove through Iceland’s extraordinary landscapes, he began finding places for us to explore along the way. Remote waterfalls, volcanic craters, beautiful black sand beaches, and interesting stops that I might never have discovered on my own.
He also found local restaurants where we could enjoy authentic Icelandic experiences.
And when a storm disrupted our outdoor plans, he suggested going to a mall.
A mall!
That certainly wasn’t something I had included in my carefully planned Icelandic itinerary.
But we went, and it became another part of our adventure.
What I loved most about this experience wasn’t just the extraordinary scenery or the places we visited. It was watching my son take initiative, contribute ideas, solve problems, and confidently navigate situations alongside me.
I wasn’t simply the mom organizing a vacation for her child anymore.
We were two adults experiencing something new together.
That realization was incredibly meaningful to me.
I got to see the thoughtful, independent, adventurous young man he is becoming. We shared conversations, discoveries, laughter, and experiences that gave me a new appreciation for our evolving relationship.
And as much as I wanted to give him a memorable experience, I came home realizing that he had given me one too.
What Iceland reinforced for me wasn’t that we need to travel halfway around the world to connect with our children.
It was that, as they grow older, sometimes we need to make room for them to take the lead.
Whether we’re travelling, trying a new activity, or simply spending an afternoon together, allowing our children to contribute their ideas and share their interests gives us an opportunity to get to know them in an entirely different way.
Creating New Traditions After Divorce
As a divorce coach, I work with individuals who are navigating the emotional and practical challenges of separation and divorce.
One of the most difficult adjustments for many parents is learning how to create new traditions and experiences within a family structure that looks different from what they once imagined.
Activities that previously involved two parents may suddenly feel overwhelming when you’re managing them on your own.
There may also be financial constraints, changes to parenting schedules, emotional exhaustion, or sadness about traditions that no longer look the same.
For some parents, even the idea of planning a special day with their children can bring up feelings of guilt or pressure.
They may worry that they’re not doing enough, that their children are missing out, or that they need to somehow compensate for the changes their family has experienced.
I think it’s important to challenge that thinking.
Our children don’t need us to recreate the life we had before separation. They need us to help them feel secure, loved, and connected in the life we’re building now.
And that doesn’t require an elaborate vacation or an expensive experience.
It might mean creating a new Friday night tradition, visiting a favourite park, cooking a meal together, exploring a nearby community, or setting aside regular time to do something your children enjoy.
Maybe it’s packing up the car for a day trip to a town you’ve never explored, attending a local festival, going hiking, or taking your child to see a performer they’ve been talking about for months.
Sometimes just breaking away from the usual routine, even for a few hours, can create an opportunity to connect in a different way.
The experience itself doesn’t have to be extraordinary to become a meaningful memory.
What matters is the connection it creates.
And sometimes, the simplest traditions become the ones our children remember most.
Let Your Children Help Shape the Experience
One of the things I’ve learned through my own parenting journey is the importance of involving our children in deciding how we spend time together.
What I enjoy isn’t necessarily what my children enjoy, and what they loved doing at ten years old may be completely different from what they value at twenty.
For my daughter’s birthday, the excitement was going to a concert in Pittsburgh.
On our trip to Mexico, she wanted an opportunity to slow down and relax.
My son, on the other hand, wanted adventure, exploration, and discovery in Iceland.
Three very different experiences, but all meaningful because they reflected something that mattered to each of them.
We can apply that same thinking to everyday activities.
Ask your children what they’d like to do. Give them an opportunity to plan an afternoon, choose a new place to explore, or introduce you to an activity they’re passionate about.
You might be surprised by what they suggest.
More importantly, you may discover something new about them.
As parents, we spend so much of our children’s early lives making decisions for them. As they grow older, allowing them to take the lead can become a wonderful way to strengthen our relationships.
It’s also a reminder that connection doesn’t always come from doing something we have planned.
Sometimes it comes from being willing to enter their world.
The Best Memories Aren’t Always the Ones We Plan
If there’s one thing parenting has taught me, it’s that we can’t control every detail.
Plans change. Weather interferes. People get tired, hungry, or frustrated. Things don’t always unfold the way we imagined.
And yes, sometimes you end up walking around a shopping mall in Iceland because there’s a storm outside!
But those unexpected moments often become part of the story.
They teach us to be flexible, to laugh when things don’t go according to plan, and to appreciate the time we’re sharing rather than expecting everything to be perfect.
As a single parent, I know how easy it is to put pressure on ourselves to make every experience wonderful for our children.
Sometimes, after divorce, we can feel that pressure even more intensely.
We may worry about what our children have lost or feel that we need to make up for the changes they’ve experienced.
But we don’t need to compete with anyone else’s experiences, including those of our former spouse.
And we certainly don’t need to measure the quality of our parenting by the activities or vacations we can afford.
Our children don’t need perfect experiences. They need our presence, attention, and genuine interest in who they are.
Those are things we can offer regardless of our financial circumstances.
It’s Never Really Been About the Destination
Looking back on the experiences I’ve shared with my children over the years, I’m grateful that I made an effort to create opportunities for us to connect.
Some of those moments happened while we were away from home. Others happened during ordinary days that probably didn’t seem particularly significant at the time.
What I appreciate now is that we made time for one another.
As my children continue to grow and build their own lives, I’m increasingly aware that our relationships will keep evolving.
We don’t get to go back to the years when they were little. We can’t recreate the bedtime conversations, the excitement of childhood discoveries, or those everyday moments when simply being together was part of our routine.
But we can continue finding new ways to connect.
We can create new traditions, share new experiences, and discover new things about the people our children are becoming.
And that is something I find incredibly exciting.
So whether it’s an afternoon exploring a nearby town, a picnic in the park, a concert, a weekend road trip, a few nights away somewhere within driving distance, or a bigger adventure when circumstances allow, I encourage you to look for opportunities to create memories with your children.
It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It doesn’t have to be perfectly planned. And it certainly doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s experience.
It simply has to be meaningful to you and your children.
For single parents navigating life after separation or divorce, this is something I hope you’ll remember:
Your family may look different than it once did, but that doesn’t mean the opportunities for happiness, adventure, and connection are behind you.
There are still so many memories waiting to be made.
And sometimes, the most meaningful ones come from the simplest moments.
Because ultimately, the greatest gift we can give our children isn’t a vacation, a destination, or an elaborate experience.
It’s our time, our presence, and the knowledge that no matter how much life changes, our connection with them remains a priority.